Magnificent You - Softening the Heart

On the way to school, my daughter and I sang our favorite Princess and the Frog songs from the soundtrack CD. Quite often we talk about the scenes of the movie as each song plays. On this particular journey, she reminded me about the practice of acceptance, forgiveness and love for others.

“Do you like Dr. Facilier mommy?” she asked.

“Not really. He does things that aren’t nice” I replied (as I said many times before).

“I do” she said.

I turned back in surprise. Normally she says that she doesn’t like him either because he tricks Prince Naveen. I paused…

“Remember you said that even when I’m not listening you love me?” she continued.

“Yes” I replied.

“And you said if one of my friends doesn’t play with me today, we are still friends and like each other?” she said.

“That’s right” I agreed.

“Well, I like Dr. Facilier even though he’s not nice to everyone. I like all of them” she concluded.

“You’re right. Just because someone does something that we may not be happy with, we can still like them”. I thanked her for reminding mommy about that.

That conversation made me think about the difficulty that many of us have in releasing the harsh feelings resulting from conflicts and disagreements with others. Our hearts become hardened for extended periods of time and the anger is actually similar to a toxin that quietly invades our health, our mental and emotional capacities and other relationships.  In Singles Guide to Greatness, I mention that “repression or explosive episodes of anger will not help you in the long run and they are enormous energy drainers.” The chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Neurology at the University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Leo Maddow also says: “Someone who stays angry long after the particular incident that caused the anger may be committing slow suicide.”

At times, we can be quick to judge but slow to forgive. In the end, your judgment and resentment of others will only keep your heart hardened. The person may not appear to be affected in any way, while you carry a weight that blocks the freedom of a fully open heart. As I’ve said (and reminded myself) forgiveness is not for them.  You don’t have to be in their company or engage in a meaningful relationship but do yourself the favor of letting go and accepting them as an individual who has made certain choices in their lives. Allow your heart to soften enough to beat freely, uninhibitedly and joyously - you deserve it!

Affirmation for Softening the Heart: Today I release all judgments and bitterness towards others as a divine gift to myself. My heart is soft and flows freely.

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Can You Predict Your Day? Not only can you predict your day, you can create the vibe and quality of the interactions and activities as well.

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Have you ever considered the daily routines that many people incorporate into their lives without a second thought?  For example, do you start your day with the breaking news through radio, tv or internet?  This habit is common for most.  What did you hear about in these earliest moments of your day?  The latest homicides, fatal car accidents, or maybe bleak financial projections? And how many times were these “highlights” repeated as you continued your preparation and/or commute for the day?  Did you then become so perplexed by the content that you shared it with others in your surrounding?

If you are determined to control what sets the spirit for your day (as well as contributes to those around you) then you may want to consider how you can filter exposure to the ongoing messages of despair and violence.  What would you lose if you did not hear about the latest tragedy as you began your day?  What would you gain?  I think that you understand my point.  Our society tends to emphasize and amplify shocking information which then plays a significant role in the lack of hope and anxiety that so many face. I choose to screen out the drama whenever possible.  I rarely listen to news and limit the amount of time that I spend discussing the worst events of the day.  It works for me!

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Affirmation: Each day, I am the authority for all that disturbs or nurtures my spirit.

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Without realizing it, Marg started to carry her frustration with the online dating process around with her on each and every date.She admitted that she was probably a drag to be on a date with because she had become cynical about the outcome. Marg adjusted her attitude and let go of her internalized pressure to be in a relationship and get married. She came to believe that she will enjoy her ideal life with the right perspective combined with action taken that supports her way of thinking and desired visions. She recognized immediately how relaxed she was and saw the difference in the response from her future dates. The conversations were much more comfortable.

What would your last date say about your presence and interaction with them?  Would they say that you seemed anxious or pre-occupied?  Think about how you are presenting yourself and what you are getting from each encounter.  Give the gift of just enjoying and being to yourself first and foremost.  Your date will benefit as well. 

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